I'm Back!

So I took a little "break" from my blog! I was having a hard time coming up with things that I deemed "scary" enough!

I have run marathons! I have completed an Ironman! I want to climb Mt. Kilamanjaro! I want to move to Colorado for the summer. These things seemed scary to me at first but were always very manageable because I knew I had complete control over them. I know I have the discipline to complete the training or making the plans! I knew I could do it! These things don’t scare me anymore.

What scares me the most is letting myself be vulnerable to my friends and family. I would much rather listen to what is going on with you and help you with your problems than have you worry about mine. I get very uncomfortable telling people when something is wrong with me. I have acknowledged that I need to be more vulnerable to live my best life, and allow others to see me in a place of vulnerability to create the possibility of greater and stronger relationships in my life.

So what am I doing today that scares me???
The things that scare me are sharing my feelings and insecurities with the world.
My insecurities:
1. I am afraid of being alone, which is only encouraged by my tendency to push people away.
2. I tried so hard for so long to be SO independent, that I am scared that I don’t have any room left for relationships.
3. I worry that I am too controlling (because I know the best way for everyone else to live their lives;).
4. I worry that my life has gotten so focused on accomplishing the next goal, or checking the next thing off my list that I have lost sight of what truly makes me happy in life!
5. I’m still terrified of spiders;(

Sharing my insecurities with you in this way, terrifies me!!!!

All of that said, your heart and feelings can either come from a place of fear (resulting in more fear in your life) or from a place of love (resulting in more love in your life). I choose the latter.